{Review} Dead Rules by Randy Russel

Title: Dead Rules
Author: Randy Russel
Format: ARCycling Paperback
Publisher: Dial Books (Penguin)
Release date: June 21st 2012
Date Read: January 14th 2013
Rating: ✭

Till death

Jana Webster and Michael Haynes were in love. They were destined to be together forever.

Do

But Jana's destiny was fatally flawed. And now she's in Dead School, where Mars Dreamcote lurks in the back of the classroom, with his beguiling blue eyes, mysterious smile, and irresistibly warm touch.

Us

Michael and Jana were incomplete without each other. There was no room for Mars in Jana's life--or death--story. Jana was sure Michael would rush to her side soon.

Part

But things aren't going according to Jana's plan. So Jana decides to do whatever it takes to make her dreams come true--no matter what rules she has to break.

I received my copy of DEAD RULES from ARCycling. Thanks guys!

----

If I rated DEAD RULES for the first 300 pages, the rating would be around 0.5 stars. That's how bad it was. Yet, the last 70 pages were actually pretty good! If the rest of the book matched the ending, it would have gotten at least a 3 star rating, maybe four.

How could there be such a huge change in the last 70 pages?

Well, if you know me, you know how much I love weird, quirky Tim Burton-esque things. They're my favourite things. Ever. If it's advertised a "Burton-esque", I'll be there, no matter how low the ratings are or how unknown the book is. 

Like this. 

One reviewer called it "Burton-esque" and boom, I'm here. I was disappointed, but then I wasn't. Weird, I know but let me explain before y'all go storming off.

pg 1 - pg 305: wtf is this? It's stupid and demeaning.

pg 306 - pg 376: ... I sorta liked this part ...

The beginning was filled with horrible characters, one of the worst main characters (ever), boring plot, terrible filler material, no world building, a sloppy romance, a even more sloppy mystery, and the stereotypical girl who hates our main character. It's like putting all the things I hate into one 376 paged book.

Next up, I discuss the worst aspect of this book: Jana.

Characters

Jana, oh Jana. You fucking moron. I really hate you with all my heart.

Jana is probably the most infuriating character I've encountered. If I say this again (I will), please direct me to this review and then I'll see. I honestly do not think that another character can make me so angry as this one.

What does Jana do? The answer is simple. Nothing.

She doesn't do a goddamn thing at all. The book revolves around her relationship with Michael. There is no other plot then that. Jana's fixation upon Michael was disturbing. If you flip to a random page in the book, there will be the word Michael in it, maybe even more than once.
 

Jana is also the stupidest creature on the face of the earth. How can you possibly trip on a bowling ball? That's just crazy. Another thing, the book's subplot is a mystery one. It's so freaking OBVIOUS who did it, what the person did, and how the person did it. Yet, she acts like it's the biggest mystery in the world when it couldn't be less like that.

Mars Dreamcote is the love interest and his name is actually Mars Dreamcote. What awards has he won? Worst Name Ever and Least Interesting Character. He's supposed to be "mysterious", "charismatic", and "seexxxy". Instead he's weird, weird, and weird.

I mean, how can you not be a weirdass with a name like Mars Dreamcote. Who the fuck names a character Mars Dreamcote? That’s not even creative, it’s just freaking stupid.

Mars is not only a boring character but he’s also extremely sexist. What do women need the most? Make-up. Obviously, all we really want in the afterlife (if we can have just one thing) is make up. In fact, he says:

”I’m not stupid,” he continued. “I know the difference between what people want and what people need. You said I bring them things they want. It’s not like that. They want everything, Webster. I bring them things they need.”

“People need makeup?” [asked Jana]

“Yes. Most girls do, if you haven’t noticed. They need it to feel normal…”

When I wear makeup, I don't do it to feel normal. I wear it because I want to wear it. Definitely not to feel normal.

The other characters ranged from unimportant to that stereotypical bitch character. As you can guess, most were in the unimportant range. The only important characters to the story were Jana, Mars, and Michael, but Jana thinks it's all about her (bitch, Dead School does not center around you).

Now, I that I've covered the bad, let's move on to the good.

Jana went insane. The end. No seriously, her fixation on Michael makes her go insane. It's awesome.

Plot and Writing

Plot
The plot basically revolves around Jana's fixation upon Michael. That's really what the plot is. The Burton-esque part only comes at the end when Jana (obvious spoiler ahead) decides to kill Michael so he will be with her forever. Until then, it's probably the most boring thing in the world.

The plot:

Jana: 
MichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichael

Bitch: 
HAI I'M LIKE SUPER PEPPY AND ANNOYING. HAAAAIIII GURLFRIEND.

Jana: 
MARRRRRRSSSS MichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichael

Bitch: 
Getta way from meh. Go hang out with ur looser emooo friends.

Jana: 
no.

Mars: 
I'm hunky. Love meh.

Jana: 
MichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichael

Bitch: 
Ur so emooooooo!!!!1!!!!

Jana: 
MichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichaelMichael


The end.

Except, during the last part, Jana goes insane and that's entertaining. You can really see how her mind has deteriorated throughout the book and I loved this part. A+.

Writing

The writing was the bland YA usual. No world building, bland conversations, lack of descriptions, and well, you know the rest. To summarize: not good.

Likes and Dislikes:

Likes:
- the ending
- Jana at the end

Dislikes:
- Everything else

Conclusion

This book, in the right hands, could have been something fantastic. But it's not sadly. DEAD RULES is a definite do-not-recommend (unless you read the last few pages).

Lisbeth is an American teenager who enjoys blowing shit up in videogames and discussing decapitation in great detail. She's also obsessed with Oceana, but you're not supposed to know that.