{Review} Going Vintage by Lindsey Leavitt

Title: Going Vintage

Author: Lindsey Leavitt

Format: Netgalley egalley

Publisher: Bloomsbury

Release date: March 26th, 2013

Date Read: March 5 to 8th 2013

Rating: ✭✭

When Mallory’s boyfriend, Jeremy, cheats on her with an online girlfriend, Mallory decides the best way to de-Jeremy her life is to de-modernize things too. Inspired by a list of goals her grandmother made in1962, Mallory swears off technology and returns to a simpler time (when boyfriends couldn’t cheat with computer avatars).

The List:

1. Run for pep club secretary
2. Host a fancy dinner party/soiree
3. Sew a dress for Homecoming
4. Find a steady
5. Do something dangerous

But simple proves to be crazy-complicated, and the details of the past begin to change Mallory’s present. Add in a too-busy grandmother, a sassy sister, and the cute pep-club president–who just happens to be her ex’s cousin–and soon Mallory begins to wonder if going vintage is going too far.

I’ve put off reviewing this book for a while, but not for my usual reasons. I’m not scared that this will turn into a massive rant or a bunch of fangirling nonsense. No, I simply do not know how to express myself here. I know what I’m feeling but I have no clue on how to say it.

GOING VINTAGE is the kind of book that makes you happy while reading even though you know it’s absolute fluff. I don’t like reading fluff for some reason. My “chick lit” (and I use this term very loosely) needs something more to it. It needs well defined and formed characters. It needs wonderful character interaction. I don’t really care if it comes in dystopian, contemporary, or science fiction.

This may or may not be the reason I love The Walking Dead.

Lindsey Leavitt attempted to add the “more” into the book but she simply did not achieve what I wanted. Now, when I say I want chick-lit, it’s often very different from what other people would think of when others say the same thing.

GOING VINTAGE will please a lot of people – and has already. It’s a cute book with really awesome family dynamics – something sorely lacking in YA literature. It has an adorable romance and with an adorable love interest. My problem is with Mallory, the protagonist and more importantly, her lack of logic.

In GOING VINTAGE, Mallory’s boyfriend cheats on her with a girl he met in a Sim-like game. Mallory then assumes that her relationship issues would never have happened if it weren’t for electronics and decides to swear them off. Forever.

*facepalm*

What Mallory doesn’t seem to grasp is that a cheater is a cheater no matter where or when or how he does it. It doesn’t matter what time period it is. Whether it be the 60s or 90s, there will always be cheaters.

Now, of course, if Mallory had thought along these lines, the book wouldn’t have happened and that would be sad.

Despite her often blatant logic fails, Mallory is a sweet character. She’s not all that bright and she’s in love with the spotlight a bit too much, but she’s not a horrible person nor could ever be called one. She stands up for what believes in and she’s really a good person. She’s a pretty awesome example of a flawed, yet strangely lovable character.

She’s definitely got her heart in the right place but I think she would have benefitted from some therapy and chocolate. I don’t think she gets enough chocolate. *hands over chocolate to Mallory*

The best part of the book was definitely was Oliver who was adorable and cute and squee-worthy. He’s not my favorite or even close to my favorite but I really did like him. He was a genuinely nice guy for a genuinely nice girl – something that I don’t often say.

As I said, I loved the family dynamics to the story. They were surprisingly deep. For the most part, YA books the families are lackluster. You’d think that a story with teen protagonist, they’d have a realistic portrayal of families.

LOLNO.

For the most part, none of the books have realistic families. They always have either perfect families or families that are so messed up that they become equally unrealistic. The family is GOING VINTAGE is perfectly flawed. There isn’t a perfect family in real life and thankfully, this book shows that.

GOING VINTAGE is wonderfully fluffy and light. It’s often hilarious. There was substance to the book but I just needed more than what I got. As I said, GOING VINTAGE will be perfect for a lot of readers, but for those who need something more than mindless fluff, this might not be the book for you.

Lisbeth is an American teenager who enjoys blowing shit up in videogames and discussing decapitation in great detail. She's also obsessed with Oceana, but you're not supposed to know that.

{Review} Entwined by Heather Dixon

Title: Entwined
Author: Heather Dixon
Format: Paperback
Publisher: Scholastic
Release date: March 29, 2011
Date Read: April 15
Rating: ✭✭

Azalea is trapped. Just when she should feel that everything is before her... beautiful gowns, dashing suitors, balls filled with dancing... it's taken away. All of it.

The Keeper understands. He's trapped, too, held for centuries within the walls of the palace. And so he extends an invitation.

Every night, Azalea and her eleven sisters may step through the enchanted passage in their room to dance in his silver forest.

But there is a cost.

The Keeper likes to keep things.

Azalea may not realize how tangled she is in his web until it is too late.

I had high hopes for ENTWINED, especially since retellings aretotally my thing, and I adore most fairy tales: especially The Twelve Dancing Princesses... well, not the original version, where the eldest sister marries this old solider and it's all very creepy.

Fortunately, Azalea, our main character and the eldest sister, doesn't end up marrying an elderly man. Unfortunately, the book just wasn't for me.

I did like the plot; a pretty original twist on the classic. However, it didn't keep my interest the whole way and I quickly began to get bored with it. I thought it was much more middle grade than young adult, because I could see how it was fluffy and cute, even though I didn't feel that way.

The sisters each had their own personality and traits (it was hard to confuse them), but they are behaved immaturely and far younger than their actual age. They giggled and squealed so much that I was sure I'd loose my mind. Azalea, especially, I found dull and quite unlikable, and I couldn't see what everyone else saw in her. Mr. Bradford was boring and stiff. It's very possible to craft a sweet, kind, "nice-guy" without making him snore-worthy. The King I did like when he wasn't sucking in his damn cheeks half the time; his character growth was fantastic and I really enjoyed reading about him. Our villain, the Keeper (not really a spoiler, honestly) was frightening and fascinating... at first.

The writing was lovely, for a fairy tale. It never would've worked if it wasn't, being a very distant and detached style with a lot of uncommonly used words pussyfooted .

ENTWINED may be truly amazing for some, but I didn't think so.

also, I'm aware that was one of the worst reviews I've ever written. GO AWAY.

Oceana is a French-blooded teenager who enjoys stalking British boys and asking them to marry her. She was diagnosed with severe fangirl disorder in 2011. Able to curse like a sailor with an angelic voice.

{Review} The Pirate's Wish by Cassandra Rose Clarke

Title: The Pirate's Wish

Author: Cassandra Rose Clarke

Format: Netgalley egalley
Publisher: Strange Chemistry

Release date: June 4th 2013 

Date Read: April 05 to 06, 2013

Rating: ✭✭

After setting out to break the curse that binds them together, the pirate Ananna and the assassin Naji find themselves stranded on an enchanted island in the north with nothing but a sword, their wits, and the secret to breaking the curse: complete three impossible tasks. With the help of their friend Marjani and a rather unusual ally, Ananna and Naji make their way south again, seeking what seems to be beyond their reach.

Unfortunately, Naji has enemies from the shadowy world known as the Mists, and Ananna must still face the repercussions of going up against the Pirate Confederation. Together, Naji and Ananna must break the curse, escape their enemies — and come to terms with their growing romantic attraction.

I should have expected this book to be bad. It's not like I ever love sequels or the final book in a series as much as I love the first book. They're often not worth the wait in any shape or fashion. But for some crazy and illogical reason, I did expect THE PIRATE'S WISH to be as enjoyable as THE ASSASSIN'S CURSE, if not even better. Instead, it failed me in many aspects.

The story takes place only a few days after the events of THE PIRATE'S CURSE leaving our favorite heroes on the island, trying to find a way off so they can break the curse. If you remember, the curse can only be broken if Naji and Ananna complete three impossible tasks.

These first few pages were very enjoyable, though there were a few hints of what's to come. The book became even more entertaining for me when the manticore, Ongraygeeomryn (don't worry, she's never referred to with this name). Ananna and the manticore's relationship was quite similar to the arashitora and Yukiko's relationship yet the arashitora definitely surpassed the manticore is adorableness because it is simply not possible to not think that a griffin snuggling up to a girl is the most adorable thing ever.

The book deteriorates rapidly when Ananna decides to kiss Naji, everything takes a downward spiral as Ananna adopts a "oh my gosh, I hate myself and my life and my hair and my body and my face and my lips" attitude. Because Naji doesn't want to be kissed in his sleep, Ananna suddenly thinks that her lips and her kissing technique is flawed.


Bitch, I wouldn't want to be kissed in my sleep and neither would you. That's sexual harassment whichever way you look at it. That's why he pulled a sword on you. Not because your lips are bad and your kissing style is poor. It's because he thought he wasbeing attacked.

This is definitely the point where it all went wrong. After this failed attempt at kissing him, Ananna started to sulk. Sulking is ok, we all do it. When your sulking lasts for most of the book, you know there's problem. 

Ananna was utterly insufferable because all she seemed to ever care about was getting Naji to like her. In the first book, Ananna didn't give a shit if Naji loved her or not. No, she was kind of busy surviving. In this one, whether or not Naji loves her is her biggest problem and her main concern. I mean, who cares if you're going to die as long as a cute boy loves you? 

She was definitely my biggest problem with the book, though not my only. My second biggest point of aggravation - no infuriation - was how the romance made it seem like Ananna's happiness depended on whether Naji was with her. Girl, you do not need a man to be happy. I would think that you of all people would know that.

Naji was pretty much the same but more subdued. By that I mean that all his badass witty comments are completely absent in this book and he spends his time fretting because he thinks these guys



will care about how ugly he is. I don't think that they're thinking, "Ew, he's like totes ugly." Dude, I'm pretty sure the only thing they're thinking is, "Oh look, yummy male-human! NUM NUM." 

There were a few really awesome parts. It's impossible for a book that not only has diva manticores but lesbian queens and armored sharks. Oh and pirate battles and manticore royalty. And an octopus. UM YES. That's so fucking awesome that I had to raise the rating by a star.

In the first book, the world and story was full of adventure and this something that I can't describe. It was like a drug. The moment you read the book, everything feels so happy and it's like you're floating on air.

But this book didn't have that. It just wasn't there. There wasn't a single moment that I felt like it even began to touch the feeling that I felt in THE ASSASSIN'S CURSE. It was still imaginative and creative but that feeling that I felt in the first book just wasn't there.

I really wish I could have loved this book like I thought I would've. It failed me in so many ways. I can't properly describe how devastated I am without either turning this review into a rant or making it sound very weepy. I'm so unhappy to say this but I can't recommend this book to anyone and I am unsure if I will want to read the spin off books.

Lisbeth is an American teenager who enjoys blowing shit up in videogames and discussing decapitation in great detail. She's also obsessed with Oceana, but you're not supposed to know that.