{Review} Various Positions by Martha Schabas

Title: Various Positions
Author: Martha Schabas
Format: NetGalley ebook ARC
Publisher:  Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Release date: February 14, 2012
Date Read: March 17, 2013
Rating: ✭

Trapped between the hormone-driven world of her friends and the discontent of her dysfunctional family, fourteen-year-old Georgia is only completely at ease when she's dancing. When she is accepted into Canada's preeminent ballet school, Georgia thinks it is the perfect escape. Artistic Director Roderick Allen singles her out as a star, subjecting her to increasingly intensive training, and Georgia obsesses about becoming the perfect, disciplined student. But as she spends more and more time with Roderick, it's not so clear exactly what their relationship means. Is he her teacher and mentor, or is there something more? These blurred lines will threaten both Roderick's future at the academy and Georgia's ambitions as a ballerina.

For VARIOUS POSITIONS

Dude, that was a really weird book.

Weird in the way that you're going to remember it, but not in a good way.

VARIOUS POSITIONS I'd love to see you try to come up with a dirtier title than that shit is the story of fourteen year old Georgia and her adventures in seducing her ballet teacher, copying porn poses, acting like an idiot, and hurting everyone around her.

I mean, it sounds about right to me.

VARIOUS POSITIONS had a really strange plot, because it wasn't about the ballet. It was about a seriously fucked-up girl from a fucked-up family living in a fucked-up world.

Sounds like me.

I didn't enjoy the odd plot. I had high hopes when I first read the blurb, mostly because it was being compared to The Black Swan for teenagers (which I loved). However, it wasn't what I was looking for at all.

I understand that VARIOUS POSITIONS is about a girl experimenting with her own sexuality, but as someone Georgia's age and ten times more perverted (hey, I was raised in a French family), her sexual thoughts were downright disturbing.

She gives forty-year old men 'suggestive faces', tries kissing her ballet teacher Roderick, and can't look a single person in the eye without imagining herself having sex with them. 

I mean, I don't even do that and that's saying something.

The writing, I had to admit, was beautiful. Schabas is a very talented writer, because the style was quite beautiful. However, the plot and characters dragged her debut novel down. VARIOUS POSITIONS never got dull, but it was never quite absorbing, either.

I hated every single character in VARIOUS POSITIONS. There was not one redeemable character that I grew to love, and most of all, I hated Georgia.

Georgia screws up massively, and then blames everyone but herself. She constantly shames the more 'sexual' girls for not acting as virginal as she does. By sexual, I mean swiping on some lipgloss. That's right: Georgia mentally taunts the other girls and makes fun of them for wearing an ounce of makeup.

Bitch, when I go shopping, I do go for the shirt that makes my boobs look big! And I do like wearing makeup, because it makes me look better. I feel more confident with it, and as a result I TURN INTO A FUCKING BADASS.

And I have plenty of 'self-respect', so fuck you.

Georgia doesn't take responsibility for her actions, and her age is not an excuse to act like a fucking moron. Georgia puts her friend in the hospital for anorexia with her seriously flawed 'diet' and doesn't think about it twice. She has consensual, willing unprotected sex with another guy and suddenly gets up, calls him names, and acts like he's raped her. Georgia believes that her ballet teacher Roderick lusts after her (though there are absolutely no indications) and tries to make out with him. Even though he pushes her away immediately, he gets in huge trouble, and is labeled a pedophile and a predator.

I'm probably more immature than Georgia, but I know not to take naked pictures of myself and send them to Roderick.



I MEAN SERIOUSLY DOES SHE HAVE HALF A BRAIN

Roderick is an asshole and a dickface, but he doesn't deserve what he got. Even though Georgia promised to tell everyone he wasn't the one that kissed her, his reputation will be forever tainted, and Georgia will just be that poor girl who made a little mistake and got to go to another new.

It's so unfair and I nearly threw the book across the room.

All of Georgia's 'friends' are bitchy, one-dimensional, and unlikable. Georgia's parents seriously screwed her up, and their relationship with her was strained and sad. I despised them all, really.

One last thing, though. A ballet dancer in VARIOUS POSITIONS was considered chubby because of her thighs, but by ballet standards, 'chubby legs' are probably more thin than mine are ever going to get.

*looks down at thighs guilty* I should've probably written this review on the treadmill, huh?

Even though I wasn't a fan of this book, Schabas sure knows how to reel us in and keep us interested. I'll probably read future books of hers.

Oceana is a French-blooded teenager who enjoys stalking British boys and asking them to marry her. She was diagnosed with severe fangirl disorder in 2011. Able to curse like a sailor with an angelic voice.

{Review} Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins

Title: Anna and the French Kiss
Author: Stephanie Perkins
Format: Bought for Kindle
Publisher: Dutton
Release date: December 2nd, 2010
Date Read: January 28th to March 13th, 2013
Rating: ✭✭

Anna is looking forward to her senior year in Atlanta, where she has a great job, a loyal best friend, and a crush on the verge of becoming more. Which is why she is less than thrilled about being shipped off to boarding school in Paris--until she meets Étienne St. Clair. Smart, charming, beautiful, Étienne has it all...including a serious girlfriend.

 But in the City of Light, wishes have a way of coming true. Will a year of romantic near-misses end with their long-awaited French kiss?

Contrary to my rating, ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS is not a bad book. It's really not. How could a bad book have such a huge fan base (unless we're talking about FSOG)? Reviewers and readers alike have given ANNA a high rating. ANNA has a 4.2 average rating on GR and my friends have given it an average of 4.45. And for the reviewers I follow? Almost all fours and fives.

So, why didn't I like it? 

I really should like the book. ANNA is adorable. Well, it's by Stephanie Perkins who is universally known as one of the cutest people ever! ANNA is funny and sweet. However, even with all that's going for it, ANNA didn't meet my colossal expectations set by my coblogger and my other friends.
Personally, the biggest problem with ANNA is fairly simple. I know I'm going to have fangirls attack me for saying this but my biggest problem is that...

I hate St. Clair and Anna.

There, I said it. *pulls out shield* Almost everyone loves St. Clair. He's in almost everyone's book boyfriend list. I do get why people like him. He can be funny and sweet. My problem with him is that he's a huge asshole.

Before you start sharpening your weapons, hear me out. I'll admit, there are times where I can see where the ANNA lovers are coming from. Like I said, he's cute. My biggest problem with him lies with how he was leading on Anna - even though he's "taken".




How am I supposed to like a guy blatantly flirts with another girl even though he's supposedly madly in love with his girlfriend? Anna rather plainly shows interest in him and St. Clair doesnothing to stop her or even tell her that he's not interested.

St. Clair even goes as far as to discourage guys who show any interest in Anna.

St. Clair doesn't make one move to break up with his current girlfriend, hoping to get the best of both worlds. This isn't a character I can find romantic, despite the fact that he's cute and funny. I wish I could love him as much as everyone else does but sadly, I don't.

Characters

Anna. Anna freaking Oliphant. This girl guys...

To be nice, I'll start of with a positive thing. Anna, when not being an annoying bitch, is pretty funny. Her humor reminded me a lot of Katy from Obsidian except she wasn't nearly as awesome as Katy was. 

Ok, I'm done with being nice for now.

Anna hated any girl who looked at St. Clair. I didn't know you could be a possessive imaginary girlfriend but good job Anna, you did the impossible. Go get a gold star.

Most girls were painted in a negative light. Every girl eventually morphed into a jealous bitch. Even Mer, Anna's bff, was reduced to an angry bitch by the end. 

A major gripe with Anna was her tendency to slut shamed. To tell you the truth, I sometimes find it hard to find slut shaming - even when it's pretty easy to see. But this example wasn't exactly subtle:

"Arse. She's not going as a slutty nurse.""Just a regular one?" I ask innocently. "With a low cut dress and really big breasts?"

Could she have been any less subtle? I think not.

Anna was also incredibly stupid at times. Apparently she was not only bad at French, she couldn't tell what a French word sounds like. Guys, even if you never learned any French, couldn't you tell that something like tout pourvoir is French just by looking at the word? No, our smart Anna had no clue that tout pourvoir is French.

With all that said, Anna isn’t a terrible character all the time. She’s sarcastic and humorous. I did like her sometimes but for the most part, she annoyed me with all her whining and complaining. 

As I said earlier, I really hate St. Clair. I also gave you my reason for saying that so I'll just cover the positive aspects (because there are some) and move on with the review. 

St. Clair can be unbelievably cute at times. I don't see how he's the best guy in the world but I don't think I ever will. He's definitely not perfect, which necessarily isn't a bad thing. It is a bad thing when these imperfections involve being a insufferable asshole.

Another big problem with the MCs was the common trope where everyone thinks the MC is the most gorg gurl ever (and the MC doesn't realize it) and everyone in the world lusts over the love interest. 
As for the side characters, my problem was that their only personality trait was funny. They were used to add humor into the book. 

Now, I like funny just as much as the next guy but I do hate when characters are only used for comedic effect and for furthering the plot and nothing else. There weren't any minor characters I really loved. I don't know if this makes any sense but I didn't like them but their humor.

Plot and Writing

Plot

Plotwise, ANNA isn't so strong (because the characters are obviously amazing). It is quite obvious that ANNA is a very character driven book. It follows a very routine story outline in which the main character moves to a new city and joins a new school.

There is no definite plot to ANNA, more of a series of events leading up to the big kiss. I can’t really dock any points for the lack of plot because in many purely contemporary YA romances, there isn’t much of a plot unless it’s a “girl is in horrible accident, recovers, and finds love” story. 

Writing

No one can say that Perkins is a bad writer. She's got a lot of talent, if only she used that to tell the story of two better characters.

Her writing is adorable. It can make me smile even when I really didn't want to find the scenes adorable. Even despite how much I hate Anna as a character, her narrative voice was engaging and entertaining.

Likes and Dislikes

Likes

- writing

- humor

Dislikes

- characters

Conclusion

There are a lot of fans for this book but I’m definitely not one of them. I can’t recommend this book and after this, I’m not sure if I’ll try another Perkins book.

Lisbeth is an American teenager who enjoys blowing shit up in videogames and discussing decapitation in great detail. She's also obsessed with Oceana, but you're not supposed to know that.

{Review} The Eternity Cure by Julie Kagawa

Title: The Eternity Cure
Author: Julie Kagawa
Format: NetGalley ebook ARC
Publisher: Harlequin Teen
Release date: April 23, 2013
Date Read: February 27, 2013 - March 3, 2013
Rating: ✭✭✭✭

Allison Sekemoto has vowed to rescue her creator, Kanin, who is being held hostage and tortured by the psychotic vampire Sarren. The call of blood leads her back to the beginning—New Covington and the Fringe, and a vampire prince who wants her dead yet may become her wary ally.

Even as Allie faces shocking revelations and heartbreak like she’s never known, a new strain of the Red Lung virus that decimated humanity is rising to threaten human and vampire alike.

ARC supplied by NetGalley and Harlequin Teen in exchange for an honest review.

Someone help me pick up my jaw, please.

*points at jaw on floor* Yup, right there. Thanks.

Julie sure knows how to write a soul-crushing cliffhanger, doesn't she?

THE ETERNITY CURE was a book that I was excitedly looking forward to. I'm unashamed to say that I'm a Julie Kagawa fangirl, and though THE IMMORTAL RULES was a four-star read for me, I loved THE ETERNITY CURE even more.

It follows vampire Allison Sekemoto as she searches for her soulmate, PLEASE mentor, Kanin, who is being tortured by the bat-shit crazy vampire Sarren. Along for the ride are Jackal, a former vampire Prince who has a lot more in common with Allie than she originally thought, and her romantic interest Zeke, a human. But saving Kanin isn't the only problem on their mind: a new strain of The Red Lung has appeared, a plague that can kill humans and vampires alike.


But apparently Allie and her friends do.

THE IMMORTAL RULES moved at a very slow pace for me, but THE ETERNITY CURE was snapping its fingers in my face and not slowing down. It was very rapid, with a lot of action that I couldn't help but adore. It was split into three parts, just like its predecessor, but all the sections were intense - so intense, in fact, that I couldn't put THE ETERNITY CURE down until I forced myself to...

... at three in the morning.



Julie's writing is superb. If I'm going to be perfectly honest, her style hasn't changed one bit - but I'm glad that it didn't. First person, present-tense, with lots of detailing that Julie managed to rein in so it didn't get too purple and flowery. 

The characters in THE ETERNITY CURE were unbelievably fascinating, especially Sarren, the psychotic vampire even though I wanted to rip his head off for hurting Kanin. Fleshed-out and detailed, they had a personality to speak of and a story to tell. 

It's true that I didn't love Allison in this book as much as I did in THE IMMORTAL RULES. When it came to killing, most of the time, she was the same Allison I had fallen in love with. The merciless bad-ass Asian chick who accepted what she was and didn't argue with it. However, when she was with Zeke in THE ETERNITY CURE, she became a sappy girl that constantly whined about not being able to be with him because she was a vampire.

And it got annoying, really fast.

Zeke also got on my nerves, because his mind was constantly changing about Allie. One moment he'd push her away and tell her that they'd never be together, but in the next he'd try to convince her to run away with him. I didn't care much about him - at all, actually - though that might be because I'm kind of a Kallison shipper.



Eek, let me explain. 

Yes, I adore Allison and Kanin together, but only if they're not technically daughter-and-father. Allison, at times, referred to Kanin as her father, but she also mentioned that they weren't actually family. So, Allison, make up your damn mind.

Kanin and Jackal were my favorite characters in THE ETERNITY CURE. Kanin ripped my heart out and handed it back to me in pieces while I sobbed uncontrollably. His sweet, shy, and quiet demeanor made me fall in love with him, hard. Kanin is one of the most emotionally depressed and broken characters I've ever encountered, and all I wanted to do was scoop him into my arms and stroke his hair.

Because that's not creepy AT ALL.

Jackal was like the eviler, meaner, murdering, PMS-ing version of Grimalkin from Julie's other book, THE IRON KING. I couldn't love him after everything he did in the previous book, but he did make me laugh out loud a couple of times. Jackal was a very dynamic character, and seeing him change throughout the book - though he maintained his violent, cold personality - was amazing.

And can we talk about Chapter 13, please? Oh my gods, my heart was racing while I read it. The chapter gave me the middle finger and stomped all over me, screaming, OCEANA, PLEASE WATCH THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE SHATTER 

I adored THE ETERNITY CURE and I think a lot of people will love it as well.

Oceana is a French-blooded teenager who enjoys stalking British boys and asking them to marry her. She was diagnosed with severe fangirl disorder in 2011. Able to curse like a sailor with an angelic voice.